Its been interesting to see how people assume a stereotype image for the inmates. Often when I tell people that I'm interning there they ask me if I am scared to work there or if the inmates are scary to work with. Before I started I thought no I don't think it will be scary. And now that I do work there my reply is definitely not scared. People build up these images that inmates are horrible people who shouldn't be treated decent and will hurt you if any possible chance came up. But people are wrong. It is true that the inmates made poor behavioral decisions and some did some pretty horrific things. But that is just it, they did bad things. They themselves are not bad. In the short time that I have worked with these women I have concluded that these women are good women inside - they're just terribly, terribly broken. Some of these women have seen things or had things done to them that no human being should ever have to see or go through. My heart literally aches for some of them and their life stories. As their therapist I have to maintain professionalism and keep boundaries when working with them. I cannot give them hugs or physically touch them and I understand why. And yet, inside my soul I wish I could scoop them in my arms and comfort them and take away their pain. I guess even if I weren't a therapist though I couldn't take away their pain by hugging them. That is something they have to go through with the Lord and themselves.
The point of all this is that I realize how incredibly blessed I am. My life has had some ups & it has had some downs but overall I have a good life. Correction, I have had a wonderful life. I honestly cannot say where I would be if I had the same life experiences as some of those women have had. Working with them I realize with more surety than ever that I have chosen the right career for my life. It will never bring in a lot of fame, money, or even great respect. That is a life I will never know. But I do know that the feeling I get when helping these women is the most rewarding feeling. It's a feeling like I'm making a difference in some way in this world. Which is funny really because for good therapy to happen I don't change anything in an individual. I merely make suggestions and introduce new ways of thinking and the individual chooses if he/she wants to make a change. However, I can still see a difference by what I'm doing. I see sagging shoulders and downcast eyes enter my office and leave with shoulders back and a glimmer of hope shining in their eyes. Its small and sometimes temporary but its there. And I want to do everything that I can to keep bringing that small change into someone's life. I want to make myself the best that I can be so that I can truly help others become the best that they can be.
I am blessed and it's time that I fully share my blessings with others.
