Rebellious

Do you ever have days where you know what you should do or how you should behave and yet you just don't do it? That is how I feel right now.

Proposal

Well Friday started bright and early when I woke up at 5am to get ready and go to work early. I wanted to get in full 8 hours and still be able to leave early to drive up to Logan. I arrived at Matt's place 30 minutes later than planned. When I got to Matt’s place he was at a neighbor’s house and I had to call him. He finally came out and jumped in his truck and said “you’re late. Come on jump in the truck we got to go to Byron’s to feed the animals.” It all seemed normal to me. Matt’s been helping his uncle feed the animals for a couple of weeks now because Byron had surgery.

So we get to Byron’s and we have some feed and a salt lick for him for his birthday on Sunday that we carry inside to show Byron. He welcomes us in and starts showing us all the new decorations he has put up since I was last there. After chatting for a little bit Matt reminded me that we still had to feed and asked me to carry the salt lick out to the barn. It was heavy (like 50lbs). So I’m carrying it out to the barn and laughing because it is so awkward to carry it was making me waddle. I stated that I felt like a pregnant women and laughed. Matt was smiling really big and I just thought he thought my joke was funny. 

We get to the barn door and I look at Matt like “ aren't you going to open it.” He just nods towards the door and says “well put the salt lick down and open the door.” I did but kind of thought, “Rude, you’re the guy, you put your feed down and open it.” Anyways I open the barn door and through the corner of my eye red flashes across my vision. I double take into the barn and see a hay bundle arranged as a table and on top was a vase full of a bouquet of roses and surrounded by 4 smaller vases filled with roses and a gift.  Matt shouts “Happy Valentine’s! You thought I forgot!” I look at him and he has the biggest smile on his face – the smile that makes his eyes crinkle on the sides. I love that smile. At this point I am still not sure if it is a proposal or just Valentine’s thing only.  I’m totally shocked and surprised that he actually bought flowers. Matt hates buying flowers because they die. He thinks it’s a waste of money. I am feeling pretty happy though.  Matt gave me a big hug and said “You’re shaking.” I wasn't but could feel his heart pounding and feel him shaking. I simply stated back, “No, I think that is actually you shaking babe.”

Matt than pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket. He hands it to me and tells me that he has written me a letter. I started reading it to myself and he gets all anxious and exclaims “you have to read it out loud! I worked really hard on this!”  So I start over and read it out loud with him sitting next to me with his arm around me. It was the most beautiful letter I could have received from him. Granted I am biased because I am in love with him, but the letter was so sincere and well written that I couldn't have asked for anything better.  (I am a sucker for these things. I read way too many Jane Austin books). It made me laugh & cry & simply feel so great. When I finished Matt hugged me and asked me if I was going to open my present. I told him that I wanted to take a picture of it first. So I stood up and took a picture of it and when I turned around Matt was kneeling behind me with the ring in the box. He of course asked me the one question I have been waiting impatiently for, and I of course answered yes through my mixture of tears and giggles.

 I still had my present to open to and even the wrapping made me smile. He had chosen my favorite shade of green ribbon and tissue paper. The boy seriously did everything perfect to the smallest detail. I opened it up to find a Willow Tree figurine of an angel. I LOVE Willow Tree! It was titled “Angel of Caring” and Matt told me that is how he saw me –as an angel who cared, listened, and had an open heart.  I couldn't even try to keep the tears from falling and all I could do was throw my arms around his neck and hold him.  The feeling through all of this was pure happiness but mostly a strong sense of peace.  It felt right.

As one would expect, I was pretty much in a daze for the next hour. We were going to dinner but didn't have to leave for about an hour so we went inside to talk to Byron for a little bit. I couldn't stop smiling and just kept smelling my roses. Matt thought it was funny. I think my overwhelming happiness may have been overwhelming for him. He doesn't show emotions like I do and I don’t think he knew what to do with me.  Don’t think he wasn't happy though. He was. But he told me that he had been nothing but nerves for the last few days and so for him it was a big relief to finally have asked. He looked exhausted and when we went to dinner he didn't have much an appetite. Hahaha. 

Here are some pics from the proposal. 

 Brought the flowers inside with us. 

 Matt hates pics but he still took one for me.

 The Ring - LOVE

"Angel of Caring"

So now I am engaged to my best friend and I can't wait for our next chapter to start together!