The person I want to become.

Yesterday in my marriage & family class we were doing some exercises from Gottman’s marriage counseling techniques. It required a lot of personal exploration and writing. Honestly it made me think about myself deeper than I have in a while.  There were a few different questions we had to ponder over that really stood out to me. I’ll elaborate on just a few for time sake. 

We had to write our own obituary and what we want our legacy to be. Then we had to write what kind of person we want to become, and why we are not that person yet, and what obstacles or demons we fight with, etc. In pondering, I realized that the person I am today is not at all the person I want to be or the legacy I want to leave behind. I have a lot of work to do. I wrote that I want to leave a legacy of continuously hardworking & caring. I don’t think I am there. I also wrote that I want to become the person that does not get caught up in the petty things of life or the material needs of life. I want to be the person that is gracious at all times and in all things and in all places regardless of how I am treated. I want to be the person that is solid and strong in the gospel. The person that people can come to for anything because they know that they are safe from persecution and judgment. I want to be the person that does not get blinded by pride or jealousy or resentment. The person that is always striving to learn something. 

I want to be that person and I am SO far from being that person. Looking at where I am today I feel like I have mountains to climb to get there.

I also had to write a mission statement for my life and I wrote that my mission is to live every day just a little bit better than the day before. I felt like that was realistic. If I improve myself just a little bit every day in some form whether it is through school, gospel, family, work, or service, I will be one step closer to becoming that person I want to be.  I have screwed up a lot in my life. Heck I have screwed up a lot in this last year. But it does not mean I have to stay at where I am now.  I can change. I can be a little bit better than I was yesterday. I think I will still struggle but I can keep on working it as long as I remember it. I guess I’ll have to print off my life mission statement and put it somewhere I can see it every day as a continual reminder.

I went to class expecting to learn how to help couples with struggling marriages and I did. More importantly and surprisingly, I gained insight about myself. I am thankful that I am given these opportunities to learn where and how I can improve.